(Source: Dollar Photo Club)

(Source: Dollar Photo Club)

Ronald Reagan once quipped that the trouble with his political opponents, “is not that they are ignorant. It’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.”

Well, I’ve had a bee in my bonnet for years over something that far too many of my fellow Christians believe in that just isn’t so. I speak, gentle listener, of the whole “soul mate” nonsense, especially when it comes to finding a husband or wife.

Let me be perfectly clear: No matter how many ads for Christian dating services you hear or trendy books you read, we simply don’t have “soul mates,” at least as our confused culture understands that term. Does this surprise you? It shouldn’t. Look for that concept, by the way, in the Bible, and the only thing you can find remotely close to it is the fierce friendship of David and Jonathan. “Jonathan made a covenant with David,” Scripture says, “because he loved him as his own soul.”

Let me be perfectly clear: No matter how many ads for Christian dating services you hear or trendy books you read, we simply don’t have “soul mates.”

Now those are soul mates, friends. But the Bible knows nothing of romantic “soul mates.” This concept is more New Age than Christian. The Huffington Post gives nine signs that you’ve found your soul mate, the first one being: “You communicate without speaking.” Okay. One New Age website, however, gives three signs you’ve “definitely” found your soul mate: “You just connect without trying,” “Your level of communication is unmatched,” and “You create your own world together.”

That’s cute, it’s nice, maybe it’s even romantic . . . but it’s certainly not biblical.

Now all of this confusion might be kind of funny if it weren’t so harmful to naïve Christians and others who’ve fallen for this idea. Because this idea implies that somewhere out there is that “perfect person” for you, and if your marriage is not exploding with intense communication, romance, and a great sex life, well then maybe it’s because your spouse is not your “soul mate.”

Men who are a little bored with their wives, or vice versa, might be tempted by a co-worker who “understands me so well and is my soul mate, or could be my soul mate.” But frankly, this is a recipe for adultery and divorce, and families end up getting dropped for “soul mates.”

Once I wrote a tribute to C.S. Lewis’s “The Screwtape Letters” called “Screwtape Proposes a Divorce,” in which Wasphead, my invented senior devil, says the following to Gallstone, the junior devil: “That [soul mates] do not exist is to be kept TOP SECRET. … Let’s be blunt: these humans are scouring the globe for someone with whom a relationship will require absolutely no work or compromise. … Many adult humans who have long ago dismissed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as myths somehow persist in believing this person to exist.”

The “soul mate” concept is unworkable and completely unfair to the real other person in your life.


The “soul mate” concept is unworkable and completely unfair to the real other person in your life. It puts enormous pressure on him or her to perform, to meet our impossible expectations. As Jerry Root and Stan Guthrie point out in “The Sacrament of Evangelism,” putting others in God’s place—expecting them to give us what only He can—is a naked form of idolatry and will only lead to deep disappointment.

Here’s another thing. The “soul mate” idea suggests that marriage is all about me, that I need to find someone who understands me perfectly, who makes me happy. Marriage should be about finding someone you can make happy. In the great teaching on marriage in Ephesians, for example, husbands are told to lay down their lives for their wives, as Christ did for the church.

As J. R. R. Tolkien once wrote to his son, “No man, however truly he loved his betrothed and bride as a young man has lived faithful to her as a wife in mind and body without deliberate conscious exercise of the will, without self-denial.”

So folks, let’s drop the whole “soul mate” talk, shall we? Marriage can be wonderfully satisfying, but that’s the result of God’s grace, hard work, and self-sacrificial love. And that is the truth.

This post originally appeared at Republished with permission.

Eric Metaxas is the New York Times #1 bestselling author of “Bonhoeffer,” “Miracles,” “Seven Women,” “Seven Men,” and “Amazing Grace.” He has written more than 30 children’s books, including the bestsellers “Squanto and the Miracle of Thanksgiving” and “It’s Time to Sleep, My Love,” illustrated by Nancy Tillman. His books have been translated into more than 20 languages. He is the host of the Eric Metaxas Show, a nationally syndicated radio program heard in more than 120 cities around the U.S. He’s also a Second. You can view his I Am Second film here.

June 30, 2010

Rachel Hallmark was getting ready to bring her four children to Six Flags in Arlington, Texas. She just had to take care of one quick thing first. Her eldest child, Ethan, had a nagging ache in his stomach recently. Medicine didn’t really help. So she packed up all four kids and brought them to the doctor so Ethan could get a CT scan.

It wouldn’t take long, she thought. At least not long enough to derail her plans for a fun day with the kids, whom she had already lathered up with sunscreen.

She couldn’t have been more wrong.

When the pediatrician made her sit down, she realized it. Ethan had a massive tumor in his abdomen. Later tests would reveal it was neuroblastoma, a rare form of childhood cancer that was routinely fatal.

The baseball-loving 9-year-old was about to have anything but a normal childhood.

Pictures of Ethan line the home of the Hallmarks in Midlothian, Texas. (Source: I Am Second)

Pictures of Ethan line the home of the Hallmarks in Midlothian, Texas. (Source: I Am Second)


July 16, 2010

We started our clinic visits this week. He goes two to three times a week in between chemo to the oncology clinic. I was dreading our first visit as I didn’t know what to expect. I was afraid to be honest. As we turn the corner to enter the parking garage, a song came on the Christian radio station. It goes, ‘This is where the healing begins.” God couldn’t have spoken much clearer to me. Our family has definitely been turned upside down and all focus is on healing our son. I don’t know how we could do this without our faith in Jesus Christ. Because of Him, we can continue on day to day. 


That’s part of the first post Rachel ever wrote on CaringBridge, a place where people going through medical difficulty can update friends, family, and supporters. There are 93 pages worth of updates on Ethan’s site.

Ninety-three pages of raw honesty. Hurt. Pain. Fight. Love. Faith.

If you’ve been to that site or this one before, you know how Ethan’s story ends. He battled the disease for four years as it ravaged his body, going into remission once but then spreading to his bone marrow and colonizing in his arm, leg, knee, and behind his heart. All the while he had an attitude that’s almost unfathomable.

“Obviously I want to beat this disease, but I’m not going to be that sad if I don’t,” he said in a film made about his life. “Of course I want to live a long life, who doesn’t? I want to watch my sister and brothers go to middle school with me, go to high school, watch them graduate. Even I want to graduate. It’s not really my plan though.”

On September 26, 2014, he died at age 13.

But while you may know how Ethan’s story ends, his family is part of a larger one that’s just beginning.

Continue Reading…

GPFL Logo-AppEn su libro, Salvaje de Corazón, John Eldredge escribe: “Un hombre debe saber que es poderoso; él debe saber que tiene dentro de él lo que es necesario. Un hombre tiene que saber de dónde viene y de lo que es hecho“.

Desde su carrera en la NFL, el entrenador Joe Gibbs ha inspirado a muchos hombres a conocer su verdadera identidad. [insert Spanish Joe Gibbs page]. Hoy en día, Joe Gibbs ayuda a muchos más por todo el país con su organización Game Plan for Life , y la serie, Average Joes. Pero su dedicación a los  jóvenes comenzó muy temprano en su carrera. Derrick Crawford, ex-director de operaciones de los Washington Redskins, recuerda la actitud del ex-entrenado.

“Uno siempre ve el tirano que intenta entrenar inclinado por temor. Pero él [Gibbs]  nunca entrenó usando el temor. Entrenó usando el respeto.”

Derrick conoció a Gibbs en el 2004, cuando el entrenador se unió al equipo en una segunda etapa como entrenador de los Washington Redskins. Pero Gibbs no fue el  típico entrenador de fútbol americano y Derrick admiraba eso de él. Mientras que otros entrenadores gritaban a sus jugadores durante horas y horas, Gibbs hacía entrega de premios cada semana, reconociendo a los que dieron su mejor esfuerzo en el campo. Él creía en el empoderamiento de sus jugadores, en vez de enfocarse en lo negativo. El respeto que él les demostró, dio a luz una amistad entre el equipo que no se podía romper.

“Cuando respetas a tu entrenador haces hasta lo imposible para él”, comentó Derrick.

Después de su retiro con los Red Skins en 2008, Gibbs escribió el libro Game Plan for Life  y puso en marcha una nueva organización con el mismo nombre. Tanto el libro como la organización ahondan en diferentes áreas de éxito y buscan empoderar a los hombres con la inspiración y comunidad. Gibbs y su equipo logran esto a través de desayunos de hombres, eventos, y asambleas en las escuelas. Todas estas iniciativas construyen relaciones de tutoría donde los jóvenes pueden encontrar apoyo y aliento.

La oportunidad de participar en Game Plan For life llegó en un momento muy crítico para Derrick.  Después de meses de desempleo, apenas podía mantener la cabeza fuera del agua. Fue un tiempo muy difícil para él y su familia.

“Yo estaba recibiendo cupones de alimentos del gobierno, ayudando a un compañero a vender casas, y a otro compañero a organizar su vida. Hice todo lo que pude para poder sobrevivir durante ese tiempo “.

Fue entonces cuando recibió una llamada crucial de Gibbs invitando lo a convertirse en su nuevo Director Ejecutivo. La misión de Game Plan For Life  cambia miles de vidas de hombres por todo el país. Y la vida de Derrick tambien cambio.

“Me ayudó a tener fe y en saber que Dios está en control”, compartió Derrick.

Actualmente, Gibbs y Derrick han puesto en marcha una nueva serie, Average Joes, que cuenta las historias de hombres que han tenido éxito a pesar de terribles circunstancias y fracasos.

Ayudando a los hombres a realizarse por sí mismos a sido la pasión de Joe Gibbs desde el principio. Desde el entrenamiento en el campo de fútbol a la creación de Game Plan for Life , él y su equipo continúan inspirar a hombres por todo el país. Haga clic aquí para obtener más información sobre Game Plan para la Vida y su nueva serie Average Joes.

GPFL Logo-AppIn his book, Wild at Heart, John Eldredge writes, “A man must know he is powerful; he must know he has what it takes.  A man has to know where he comes from and what he’s made of.“

Since his years in the NFL, showing men their true identity has been a central part of Joe Gibbs’ life.  But his investment in younger guys started long before his retirement.  Derrick Crawford, former Director of Team Administration for the Washington Redskins, remembers the former coach’s demeanor well.

“You always see the tyrant who tries to coach out of fear. But he didn’t coach out of fear. He coached out of respect.”

Derrick met Gibbs in 2004 when the coach joined the team in a second stint as head coach of the Washington Redskins. But Gibbs wasn’t your typical football coach and Derrick admired that about him. While other coaches yelled at their players for hours on end, Gibbs gave out awards every week, acknowledging those who gave their best on the field. He believed in empowering his players, not beating them down. The respect he showed them birthed a team bond that could not be broken.

“When you respect your coach that much you will run through a brick wall for him,” Derrick remarked.

After his retirement from the Redskins in 2008, Gibbs wrote Game Plan for Life and launched a new organization by the same name.  Both the book and the organization delve into different areas of success and seek to empower men with inspiration coaching and community.  Gibbs and his team do this through men’s breakfasts, outreach events, and assemblies in schools.  All of these initiatives build mentoring relationships with men where they can find support and encouragement.

“We are trying to get men off the sidelines and into the game,” Derrick commented.

Derrick’s involvement with Game Plan for Life came at a critical time.  After months of unemployment, he could barely keep his head above water.  It was a taxing time for him and his family.

“I was getting food stamps, helping a buddy flip houses, and helping another buddy organize his life. I did whatever I could so I could pay the bills every month.”

That’s when he received a crucial call from Gibbs inviting him to become his new Executive Director. The mission of Game Plan for Life changes thousands of men’s lives around the country. And now Derrick’s life has changed too.

“It helped me to have faith and know that God is in control,” Derrick shared.

Currently, Gibbs and Derrick have launched a new online series, Average Joes, that tells the stories of men who have experienced success despite terrible circumstances and failures.

Helping men know what they are made of has been Joe Gibbs’ passion from the beginning.  From coaching on the football field to creating Game Plan for Life, he and his team continue to empower men all across the country. Click here to learn more about Game Plan for Life and their new Average Joes series.

E3_I am Second_Moriah Peters_ST_IMG_0138“Haven’t Even Kissed,” “I’ll Wait for You, Love,” “BRAVE Love” — these are just a few titles of the songs and book concepts I’ve written in regards to relationships. Am I an expert on romance? Absolutely not. But I feel as though I’ve been undeservedly given certain people in my life to help navigate what it means to give and receive love in an honest and adventurous way. These guides that led me along the journey had many different names, like Contentment, Hope, Disappointment and Insecurity but the three characters that have held my hand the longest and strongest are named Patricia, Anthony and Joel.

This was my adventure- perhaps you can join me in living this kind of BRAVE Love.

1. Love Is Not Self-Seeking

It only took one abusive relationship for Patricia Castillo to desperately seek out her worth in God’s love. It was in that seeking that she found and shared with her husband and children what selflessness looks like. When she first met my father, he was in debt as a law student but she worked to provide for them both as he ceaselessly studied for the bar exam. He didn’t have money but he had determination, the kind of passion that inspires a woman to stand beside her man and give of herself until the vision is achieved. It was her words that allowed me to love a man not for the things he owns but for the character he shows, “Look for a man who works hard and stops at nothing to accomplish what God has called him to do. When you find him, partner with and pray for him always.”

2. Love Always Protects

Anthony Moreno Peters is an overcomer. Son to an abusive, alcoholic father, it took a divine power, greater than his own to make him into the leader that he would become. He’s a judge, author and speaker but I know him as Dad. It was his consistent protection and love in raising me that led me to understand the true meaning of a “strong man.” I remember crying on his lap after another failed date, asking this question, “Is anyone ever going to be good enough?” His response was consistent throughout those years of dating, “Wait for the man who will cherish you and love you. Who will call you the apple of his eye and the pearl of great prize.”

3. Love is Patient

Joel Smallbone is a hunky, holy Aussie with the face of a Greek garden statue…but don’t worry, when I first met him, I didn’t let him know this. Initially, I tried to hide my intimidation with snarky comments like, “Why do you talk like that? Do you think your accent is cool or something?” I don’t know what he saw in the 17 year old, thick brow, overconfident version of myself but I sure am glad he saw it. When we finally got around to having a mature conversation, I mentioned wanting to save my first kiss for my wedding day to which he calmly replied, “As long as God has called you to do so, I completely support that decision.” Then began the beautiful ebb and flow of our relationship. I would make some outlandish statement and he would respond in patience and peace. As things progressed, my strong feelings for him scared me to the point of wanting to turn away. He would always give me time and gently encourage me to come out of my hiding place and see the wonderful world of fearless love. The lessons learned in watching Joel interact with others, press into God’s voice, and love me so purely has shaped me into the woman I am today. Our first kiss at the altar was the exclamation mark to the phrase he lived by and shared with me many times, “Whenever you see Jesus in the Bible, he gives extravagantly, never holding anything back. I want to love like that.”

To hear more of Moriah Peter’s story, click here.

E3_I am Second_Moriah Peters_ST_IMG_0138“Ni siquiera han besado”, “Voy a esperar por ti, amor”, “BRAVE Love” – ​​estos son sólo algunos títulos de las canciones y los conceptos de libros que he escrito en lo que respecta a las relaciones. ¿Soy una experta en el romance? Absolutamente no. Pero me siento como si me han dado inmerecidamente ciertas personas en mi vida que me han ayudado a navegar lo que significa dar y recibir amor de una manera honesta y aventurera. Estas guías que me llevó a lo largo de la jornada tuvieron muchos nombres diferentes, como la alegría, la esperanza, la decepción y la inseguridad, pero los tres personajes que han ocupado mi mano el más largo y más fuerte se nombran Patricia, Anthony y Joel.

Esta fue mi aventura- tal vez puedes unirte a mí en vivir este tipo de amor BRAVE [valiente].

1. El amor no es egoísta

Sólo hizo falta una relación abusiva para que Patricia Castillo  buscara desesperadamente su valor en el amor de Dios. Fue en esa búsqueda que encontró y compartió con su esposo e hijos que significa el sacrificio hecho en amor. La primera vez que conoció a mi padre, que estaba en deuda como estudiante de derecho, pero trabajó para proveer para ellos tanto en lo que estudió sin cesar para el examen de la barra. No tenía dinero, pero él tenía la determinación, la clase de pasión que inspira a una mujer para estar al lado de su hombre y dar de sí misma hasta que se logre la visión. Fueron sus palabras que me permitieron amar a un hombre no por las cosas que posee, sino por el personaje que muestra, “Encuentra un hombre que trabaja duro y se detiene ante nada para lograr lo que Dios le ha llamado a hacer. Cuando lo encuentres, únete  y ora por él siempre “.


2. El amor siempre protege

Anthony Moreno Peters es un vencedor. Hijo de un padre alcohólico y abusivo, tomó un poder divino, para convertirlo en el líder que se convertiría. Él es un juez, autor y orador, pero yo lo conozco como papá. Fue su protección constante y amor en criarme que me llevó a comprender el verdadero significado de un “hombre fuerte”. Recuerdo llorar junto a él  después de otra cita que no terminó bien, haciendo esta pregunta: “¿Hay alguien que va a ser lo suficientemente bueno? “Su respuesta fue constante a través de los años de noviazgo,” Espera a el hombre que va a valorar y amarte. Quién te llamará la niña de sus ojos y la perla de gran precio “.


3. El amor es paciente

Joel Smallbone es un guapo, Aussie con el rostro de un jardín de estatua griego … pero no te preocupes, cuando lo conocí, yo no le hice saber esto. Al principio, traté de ocultar mi intimidación con comentarios sarcásticos como: “¿Por qué hablas así? ¿Crees que tu acento es “cool” o algo así? “No sé lo que vio en una joven de 17 años, con cejas gruesas, un exceso de confianza en mí misma, pero estoy alegre que lo vio. Cuando al fin tuvimos una conversación madura, mencioné querer salvar mi primer beso para mi día de boda, lo cual él  respondió con calma: “Mientras Dios te ha llamado a hacerlo, yo apoyo completamente esa decisión.” Entonces empezó la hermosa historia de nuestra relación. Aveces yo hacía  alguna declaración descabellada y él respondía con paciencia. Las cosas progresaron y mis fuertes sentimientos por él me asustaban, hasta el punto de querer darle la espalda. Él siempre me daba tiempo y suavemente me animava a salir de mi escondite y ver el maravilloso mundo de amor sin miedo.  Aprendí muchas lecciones en ver a Joel interactuar con los demás, escuchando la voz de Dios, y lo puramente meamado, lo cual me ha ayudado a ser la mujer que soy hoy en día. Nuestro primer beso en el altar era el signo de exclamación a la frase que vivió y compartió conmigo muchas veces, “Cada vez que vemos a Jesús en la Biblia, él da extravagante, no reservarse nada. Quiero amar de esa manera “.

E3_Iam2nd_BrianSumner_10132009_TC_3817_EditSé hombre, ¿qué significa eso?

Nosotros creemos en un mundo con ritmo, de tiempos rápidos y, una sociedad que está en continuo cambio bombardeando con la próxima mejor cosa para alcanzar tus sueños. Abdominales “six pack”, el vestuario correcto y el trabajo que mejor te sirva.

Pero, ¿cuál es la intención de Dios para nosotros como hombres? ¿Cómo es “Ser un hombre” en los términos de Dios?

Por 24 años yo no conocía a Jesús. Fui criado en un hogar amoroso con padres que estaban juntos y por un papá que todavía es un héroe para mí. Pero me pregunto, a los 35 años, ¿tengo una buena comprensión del papel de ser un hombre?

1. El comienzo

Cientos de blogs definen cómo ser “un hombre exitoso”, “un súper papá”, o cómo “alcanzar tus metas”. Sin embargo, nada de eso importa. Nos hace falta que antes de todo esto, Dios nos hizo como hombres para representarlo por la eternidad. El primer punto, aunque parezca simple, es esta pregunta ¿verdaderamente está Dios de primero en nuestras vidas? ¿en nuestras casas, matrimonios, familias, trabajo, deportes, cuando estamos solos, y más importante, como Salvador del mundo?

Si no sabemos por qué somos creados, entonces incluso nuestros mejores esfuerzos para ser hombres serán en vano.

2. Trabajo

Como hombres, ¿para qué estamos aquí? Si te pregunto por qué compraste ese taladro, ¿qué dirías? Para taladrar. O para mí, como patinador, ¿qué bien tiene una patineta si no se usa? ¿una guitarra si no se toca? ¿un barco si no se navega? Pablo anotó en su carta a los Efesios, que como hombre, somos los trabajadores de Dios. Y si no caminamos en sincronía con esto,  justo como un taladro, una patineta o una guitarra, estamos simplemente adquiriendo polvo.

Sé lo difícil que la vida puede ser. Las personas ponen expectativas en nosotros. Nosotros ponemos expectativas en nosotros mismos. Pero Jesús nos ha dado un camino para recorrer y trabajar para Él.

3. Su Esposo

¿Estamos listos alguna vez para ser esposos? Todas las expectativas que vemos a través de películas, libros, y otros medios nos agotan. A la edad de diecinueve, yo estaba casado y no entendía para nada el matrimonio. Diecisiete años después el matrimonio empezó a tener sentido. Lo que sé y te diré, es que no lo tenemos todo junto. Dios no nos puso con nuestras esposas porque hacemos la pareja perfecta, sino porque a través de esto somos perfeccionados. El matrimonio es una de las maneras en que Dios hace que crezcamos. Lo que vemos al inicio de la Biblia es que la esposa vienea ser la ayuda del hombre. Dios le dió una mujer a Adán y tuvo en mente una mujer, Tracy, para mí. Nosotros nos hicimos uno, y ahora diariamente, sea lo que sea que enfrentemos, puedo confiar en que Dios tomó la mejor decisión en unirnos.

Como esposos, debemos ir al lado de esa mujer, en quien Dios está trabajando y ser partícipes en ser usados en ese proceso. No es fácil, A través del matrimonio, dos seres humanos son unidos con el propósito de servir a Dios, uno al otro y a otros. Yo estoy confiado en que Dios hará cosas maravillosas en nosotros, como hombres, amando a nuestras esposas primero.

4. Padre

Como papá de tres y posiblemente pronto de un cuarto hijo, si es la voluntad de Dios, ¿puedo confesarte algo? Por todo el tiempo que estoy viajando, no hay un momento en el que yo no desee estar haciendo mejor las cosas. Como patinador, Todo es acerca de perfección. Pero como padre, cómo estoy haciendo imperfectamente las cosas resalta más  para mí. Dios me ha dado a estos pequeños humanos para amar, guiar y dirigir. Hay veces que me siento abrumado. Pero, el recordatorio que me motiva a seguir: Podemos hacer muchas cosas en nuestras vidas. Podemos alcanzar esto y lograr aquello, pero sólo nosotros podemos ser los padres de nuestros hijos.

Como papá tengo que aprender lo que hace que sus ruedas anden y a dónde va su concentración. Me involucro en lo que sea que hagan, ya sea baseball, surfear, patinar, dibujar o leer la Biblia. Si hacemos el tiempo para relacionarnos con ellos, tendremos éxito en la mayor área a la que muchos niños les hace falta actualmente, sentirse queridos y amados.

5. Para Servir

De todas las cosas que les podamos decir a nuestros hijos, nuestro carácter en conjunto y cómo lo manejamos es cómo nos van a ver. Tenemos que “ser hombres” y aceptar la responsabilidad de servir como propósito diario. Después de Jesús fue bautizado en el Jordán, y dirigido a llamar a sus primeros discípulos. ¿Qué fue lo que dijo? Jesús se acercó a cuatro pescadores: Simón Pedro, su hermano Andrés, Jacobo, hijos de Zebedeo. Él dijo “Les mostraré cómo ser pescadores de hombres”. Ellos dejaron sus botes, redes y a los otros. Y en su camino siguieron a Jesús. El hecho de que estos hombres hayan dejado su negocio familiar me asombra. ¿Por qué habrán hecho eso? Porque amaban a Jesús. Él vino a servir y ahora nosotros continuamos lo que dejó.

Como esposos, padres, jefes, empleados, estudiantes, miembros de familia, amigos o lo que sea que podamos ser, tenemos que asegurarnos que no perdamos la alegría de caminar junto a Jesús diariamente. Se nos ha dado la oportunidad de dejar un legado de poner a Dios de primero en nuestras vidas. Vivimos en un mundo que se está muriendo, dónde Al Bundy, Homero Simpson y Christian Grey se están convirtiendo en estándares para los hombres, ¿por qué no vivir de otra maner? ¿Sé hombre!

E3_Iam2nd_BrianSumner_10132009_TC_3817_EditMan up, what does that even mean?

We live in a world of pace, fast times, and an ever changing society that bombards you with the next best thing to accomplish your dreams. Six pack abs, the right outfit, and a job that serves you best.

But what did God intend for us as men? What does it look like to “man up” on God’s terms?

For 24 years I did not know Jesus. I was raised in a loving home with parents who stayed together and by a dad who is still a hero of mine. But I wonder, at the age of 35, do I now have a good grasp of the role of being a man?

1. The beginning

Hundreds of blogs define how to be a “successful man”, “super dad”, or how to “accomplish your dreams”. But none of this really matters. We are missing that before all of this, God places us as men to represent God for all eternity. The first point, though it may seem simple, is this one question. Is God really first in our lives? In our homes, marriages, families, work, sports, when we’re alone, and most importantly, as Savior of the world?

If we don’t know why we were created, then even our best efforts to “man up” will be in vain.

2. Work

As men, what are we here to do? If I ask you why you bought that drill, what would you say? To drill. Or for myself, as a skateboarder, what good is a skateboard if it is not being skated? A guitar if not being played? A boat if not being sailed? Paul notes in his letter to the Ephesians, that as men, we are God’s workmanship. And if we are not walking in sync with this, just like a drill, skateboard or guitar, we are simply acquiring dust.

I know how difficult life can be. People put expectations on us. We put expectations on ourselves. But Jesus has given us a path to walk down and we work for Him.

3. Her Husband.

Are we ever ready to be a husband? All the expectations we see through films, books, and other sources of media exhaust us. At the age of nineteen, I was married and did not understand marriage at all. Seventeen years later and marriage seems like it somewhat makes sense now. What I do know and will tell you, is we don’t have it all together. God didn’t place us with our wives because we make the perfect match, but because through this we are perfected. Marriage is one of the ways God grows us. What we see in the beginning of the Bible is that the wife comes alongside as man’s helper.  God brought one woman to Adam and has one woman, Tracy, in mind for me. We become one, and now daily, whatever we my face, I can trust that God made the right decision in uniting us.

As husbands, we get to come alongside this woman, who God is at work in, and partake of being used in that process. Its not easy. Through marriage two humans are brought together with the purpose of serving God, one another, and others. I am confident God will do mighty things in us, as men, as we love our wives first.

4. Dad.

As a father of three, possibly soon, a fourth, God willing, can I confess something to you? For all the time I am traveling, there isn’t a moment I don’t wish I was doing things better. As a skateboarder, everything is about perfection. But as a father, how imperfectly I am doing things stands out all the more to me. God has given me these little humans to love, lead, and direct. Wow, I can sometimes feel overwhelmed. But it is this reminder that keeps me going: We can do many things in our lives. We can achieve this and accomplish that, but only we can be our children’s father.

As a father I have had to learn what makes their wheels turn and where their focus goes. I get involved in what they do whether it is baseball, surfing, skating, drawing, or reading their Bible. If we will make the time to relate to them, we will succeed in the biggest area are that so many kids are lacking in today: feeling loved and wanted.

5. To Serve.

Of all the things we may tell our kids, our overall character and drive will be who they view us as. We have to “man up” and accept the responsibility to serve as our daily purpose. After Jesus was baptized in the Jordan, and headed off to call his first disciples. What did he say? Jesus approaches four fishermen: Simon Peter, his brother Andrew, James, and his brother John, the sons of Zebedee. He says “I will show you how to fish for men.” They left their boats, nets, and the others. And on their way they followed Jesus. The fact that these men left their family business amazes me. Why would they do this? Because they loved Jesus. He came to serve and now we continue where he left off.

As husbands, dads, bosses, employees, students, family members, friends, or whatever we may be, we need to make sure we don’t miss the joy of walking with Jesus daily. We are given the opportunity to leave a legacy of putting God first in our lives. We live in a dying world where Al Bundy, Homer Simpson and Christian Grey are becoming the standard for men, why not live otherwise? Man up!

Profile-BlackBG-Alex-KendrickIs your marriage falling apart? Are you losing sleep over your family’s debt? Every year the amount of broken homes continues to grow. In 2000, 60% of all children were born into broken homes. The health of our economy isn’t as it should be. What does this all mean? Does all this leave us helpless and doomed?

Ironically, Alex Kendrick, whose personal I am Second film debuted two–plus years ago, has a suggestion. “It’s time to go to war,” says Alex and his brother Stephen, the producers of the upcoming film, The War Room.  

“Looking at the state of our culture, we see it has become more alarming each year. We are too divided and dispersed. The church is not unified,” states Alex Kendrick. This conviction pierced the hearts of the Kendrick Brothers, the producers of past films Fireproof, Courageous, and Facing the Giants.  With their current film project, they call the church of America to fall on their knees and go to war in prayer.

This family friendly drama, The War Room,  is about learning to begin all your battles on your knees and learning who your real enemy is. This film focuses on the couple, Tony and Elizabeth Jordan, as they go through personal, marital, and spiritual problems. Rising to the challenge of a wise older woman, Elizabeth Jordan decides to take a stand and combat the difficulties in her marriage. She realizes the anger towards her husband and her children have exhausted her family. After setting up her War Room, Elizabeth fights for her marriage while on her knees in prayer.

The message of this film convicted Alex Kendrick to aggressively fight for his family and country. Sharing his personal experience with the filming, Alex remarked, “It has certainly changed my prayer life.  We went from doing it occasionally 3-4 times a week to regularly and more so individually. This morning I was on my knees crying out to God to be with our family, our culture, our church, with ISIS situation, and our family debt.”

Not only convicted, but empowered by the film, Alex confesses, “Our marriage has gotten stronger.  My wife and I have a better understanding of how to challenge and disciple our children. It gives us a greater passion and we take more seriously how we spend our money and engage our culture.”

Even their children have been affected. “Our kids are adopting our standards little by little. Even though we have been considered a strong christian family, we have been pressed to get more serious about our faith. My wife and I have watched our kids start doing their own devotional times without our prompting. They choose to not be apart of things detrimental to their lives. They stand up and choose to be better.”

Through the film, the Kendrick Brothers go to war for their country and their families. Now they challenge us with a battle cry to join them on the battlefield and fight. The War Room comes out late August of 2015, along with other resources including a study for couples and a book called, The Battle Plan for Prayer. To watch the trailer for this upcoming film, click here.


Profile-BlackBG-Alex-Kendrick¿Tu matrimonio se está desmoronando? ¿Estás perdiendo el sueño por la deuda de tu familia? Cada año la cantidad de hogares rotos aumenta. En el 2000, 60% de los niños nacieron en hogares rotos. La salud de nuestra economía no es como debería ser. ¿Qué significa todo esto? ¿Nos deja todo esto indefensos y condenados?

Irónicamente, Alex Kendrick, cuyo video de Yo Soy Segundo debutó hace más de años, tiene una sugerencia. “Es tiempo de ir a la guerra”, dijeron Alex y su hermano Steven, quienes son los productores de la nueva película, The War Room.

“Mirando el estado de nuestra cultura, vemos que se vuelve más alarmante con cada año. Estamos muy divididos y dispersos. La iglesia no está unificada”, resalta Alex Kendrick. Esta convicción tocó el corazón de los hermanos Kendrick, los productores de varias películas como A Prueba de Fuego, Reto de Valientes, y Enfrentando a los Gigantes. Con su nuevo proyecto, llaman a la iglesia de América a ponerse de rodillas e ir a la guerra en oración.

Este drama familiar, The War Room, trata sobre aprender a iniciar todas tus batallas en tus rodillas y en aprender quién es tu verdadero enemigo. Esta película se concentra en la pareja, Tony y Elizabeth Jordan, mientras ellos pasan por problemas personales, maritles y espirituales. Enfrentándose al desafío de una sabia mujer mayor, Elizabeth Jordan decide tomar su posición y enfrentar las dificultades en su matrimonio. Ella se da cuenta que el enojo que sentía hacia su marido y hacia sus hijos había cansado a su familia. Depués de montar su Cuarto de Guerra, ella pelea por su matrimonio mientras ora.

El mensaje de esta película comprometió a Alex Kendrick a pelear agresivamente por su familia y por su país. Compartiendo su experiencia personal con la película, Alex remarcó, “Ciertamente cambió mi vida de oración. Pasamos de hacerlo de 3 a 4 veces por semana, a hacerlo más regularmente e aún más individualmente. Esta mañana estaba en mis rodillas pidiéndole a Dios para que este con nuestra familia, cultura e iglesia, con la situación de ISIS y por la deuda familiar”.

No sólo comprometido, sino empoderado por la película, Alex confiesa, “Nuestro matrimonio se ha vuelto más fuerte. Mi esposa y yo ahora tenemos más entendimiento en cómo desafiar y disciplinar a nuestros hijos. Nos da más pasión y ahora tenemos más cuidado en cómo invertir nuestro dinero e involucrar nuestra cultura.”

Incluso sus hijos han sido afectados. “Nuestros hijos han adoptado nuestros estándares poco a poco. Aunque somos considerados como una familia fuerte y cristiana, somos presionados por volvernos más serios con respecto a nuestra fé. MI esposa y yo hemos visto a nuestros hijos comenzar a hacer sus devocionales sin necesidad de que se los digamos. Ellos han escogido no apartarse de las cosas no perjudiciales para sus vidas. Ellos se ponen en pie y escogen ser mejores”.

Por medio de la película, los hermanos Kendrick van a la guerra por su país y sus familias. Ahora ellos nos retan a unirnos en ellos con un grito de guerra en el campo de batalla y pelear. The War Room llega se estrenará a finales de Agosto del 2015, junto con otros recursos incluyendo un estudio para parejas y un libro llamado, The Battle Plan for Prayer (El plan de batallas con oración). Para mirar el trailer de ésta película da click aquí.