Ever had a bad relationship? Striking out in your dating life in general? Perhaps you are missing the red flags. There are signs, some subtle, some obvious, that if you can spot early, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache. In addition to describing in detail what true love really looks like, the Bible is also full of stories of the opposite. Plenty of Bible characters proved really terrible at love. Here’s a few red flags from their life to avoid in your life:
The Rich Fool
Nabal, which literally means “fool”, lived up to his name. He had money and lots of it. People didn’t have mutual funds or investment accounts back then, but they did have sheep. These animals, when cared for properly, multiplied and grew and gave their owners dividends and security. We don’t know exactly how Abigail ended up marrying this man, but it’s a fair guess that his financial status had at least something to do with the arrangement. One day Nabal hired a band of mercenaries to guard his sheep only to then stiff them when time for payment came. Turns out failing to pay an angry group of armed soldiers is not a wise course of action. The decision cost him his life. Whatever Abigail and her family may have thought they would gain in marrying her off to a rich guy was then lost. Relationships based on wealth or any of the accompanying status symbols will fail as soon as the money does, and money never lasts. Are you jumping into a relationship because of the person’s desirable job, snappy dress habits, or high cost gifts? Beware, Abigail would tell you that’s a red flag.
The Smooth Talking Serial Dater
Solomon was known everywhere for his wisdom, but also his women. He had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. And to top it all off, he wrote the only collection of love poems in the Bible, known as the Song of Solomon. For thousands of years men have attempted to woo their women with great lines. But nobody has been able to outdo Solomon who had lines like “Compared to other women, my beloved is like a lily among thorns,” or “Your hair falls in waves, like flocks of goats frisking across the slopes of Gilead.” But perhaps his love life could have used a bit more of that famous wisdom. The Bible describes how his serial marrying habits led to his downfall. It turns out just because you can talk the talk, does not mean you actually know anything about love. The story of Solomon warns us all about the dangers of the smooth talking serial dater. They sure sound good, but they won’t sound so nice when you catch them saying it to someone else.
The Beauty Chaser
He loved his first wife. Well, he loved how she looked, anyway. Xerxes had many wives (that was a thing back then), but none so beautiful as Vashti. And he loved her for it. He bragged about her and showed her off. But eventually Vashti tired of being the arm candy. They divorced. Why? Because physical attraction can never go the distance in a relationship. Xerxes married again. He married for beauty…again. Next time it was to a young woman named Esther. He loved her, too. But you have to imagine that when he passed a law that nearly exterminated her entire race, that things got a bit rocky in their relationship. People do dumb things for love. But Xerxes shows we do especially dumb things for love of beauty. Ask yourself, “Would I still love the person I’m dating if they weren’t so beautiful?” The answer might save you a lot of heartache down the road.
There are plenty more red flags. We just recently shared Jonathan Seidl’s article about “What Love Isn’t” that shares even more. Do you have a “What Love Isn’t” kind of story? Share your story on the Forum. We’d love to hear it.