Jim entered college with a skepticism about life. The idea of God seemed “silly”. He poured his life into a successful career in magic where a lot of his skepticism was confirmed. There really are “trap doors” and “smoke and mirrors.” But despite doubts, radical things were happening in Jim’s life to turn his world upside down. And then, just when he thought he had it all figured out: Leukemia. When faced with the choices of how to proceed, Jim knew his best chance of living was to allow himself to die first. Chemotherapy to destroy blood cells. New blood to replace his own. Yet how could he allow himself to endure the agony? And why was this happening?