Jack Graham

As a boy Jack Graham idolized his father. Strong, indestructible, provider and protector – he wanted to be just like him. To Jack, his dad was more than a father, he was friend; a relationship that would last forever. The reality is you never fathom living without the person whose life is so intricately connected to yours. Sometimes a bond can be so thick and transparent, that breaking it seems impossible. But which way do you go when the path gets dark or the road winding? Where a guiding voice once led you left or right is now a heavy silence, with only echoes from the past.  How do you keep walking while having to let go at the same time?

These were the many questions racing through Jack’s mind when tragedy struck. Jack’s father was a victim of violence; and his family left without the man, husband, father and friend who kept their foundation solid. Yet God was present in the pain. Dark days became brighter and Jack’s purpose in life became clearer. He became more committed to life than ever before and grew to be the man he always admired in his father.

Q: What are your memories growing up?

A: My story really is the happy days, growing up in the 50`s and 60`s in Arkansas, and then in Texas. I had a great family and those were the days of black and white television, watching Ozzie and Harriet and Leave it to Beaver…that was my family. My dad owned a drive-in and I grew up on the back side of that drive-in selling hot dogs and corndogs. I had a great life, a great time in a small town in Arkansas. Later we moved to Texas, did the rest of my growing up in Texas, and went off to Hardin-Simmons University where I played baseball, loved baseball. I got married while I was in university there and that`s where I started preaching.

Q: What led to your interest in preaching? When and how did you come to Christ?

A: I came to Christ really in a revival meeting. An evangelist moved through town, set up a tent and I literally hit the sawdust trail as a small boy. Because of faith of my family, and just their sharing faith with me, and my grandfather who lived with us, reading the scriptures to me every night, it was an ideal situation really for a boy growing up, and we were so blessed and so grateful. I’ve always believed the best time to give your life to Jesus is the first time you hear the gospel and understand it. Certainly it’s powerful when people are saved out of great sin and saved out of great problems in their lives, but it’s also wonderful, perhaps even greater still to be saved from some things and recognize that I’m a sinner. I’m saved by grace just like the greatest sinner of all, but a childhood conversion is a little different, in that you come to faith early, and maybe you are protected from some things during teenage years and later years of your life. So my life was really the straight narrow. When I moved to Texas, that`s when I started preaching all over west Texas at these crusades and revivals and that kind of thing.

Q: Did any events lead to a testing of your faith in Christ, as you were preaching at such a young age?

A: I was at a place called Crowell, Texas, preaching to the students. I got a call in our motel room and my brother told me, “Jack, you need to come to Fort Worth, our dad’s been hurt.” I said, “Hurt, what does that mean?” and he said, “He’s been hit with a hammer.” What happened was, my dad had a hardware store and a shoplifter came in and ended up with a hammer in his hand and bludgeoned my father in the parking lot. My father lived for 10 days. My wife and I came to Fort Worth and along with my mother and my brother and his family, we were in a vigil, a death vigil really for the next 10 days at Harris Hospital in Fort Worth, and we waited and waited, praying each day, that he would recover, and he never regained consciousness. After 10 days, he did pass away and went on to heaven. I can remember the night he died. I can remember saying, “Dad, if you know I am here and know I love you, squeeze my hand,” and I got the ever faintest grip from the strong arm of my dad.

Q: How did your father`s death affect you?

A: Everybody thinks their dad is immortal. I thought that about my dad. I thought my dad would live forever. He was strong and vital, 56 years of age at the time, very healthy and yet now he has died as a result of the injuries from the attack, and he squeezed my hand ever so faintly. I can’t help but say that when I walked out of there I thought that’s the last time I’m gonna see him alive. I had never went to a chapel in a hospital, but I went in and I can say this for sure: I sensed the presence of God in that room like few other times in my life. And the darkness of that night, incredible loss of that moment, and just the traumatic experience of my dad being murdered and now with the victims of violent crimes, and all this happiness and growing up, now just caves in. We all were devastated We felt grief and sorrow, for really the first time and yet in that room that night the spirit of God dealt with me in a very powerful way, and I remember being just overcome realizing that there was so much evil in the world and that my dad ran square in to the face of evil that day he was injured and ultimately died, and I didn’t blame God, never thought about blaming God. Why would I blame God, I was faithful and had always been faithful to me and our family? I became extremely committed to lighting a light in the world in the midst of darkness and the man who killed my father was 24 years of age. Why the anger, why the rage in his life? Already a felon who was now on parole. What happened to this young man and how could we help other young men to live a better life and to know Christ. So really the darkness and the death of my father motivated me like nothing else in my life to preach the good news of Christ. I was reminded of the reality of the resurrection, just the hope that we have in Christ and I wanted everyone to know that hope. I had to learn lessons of forgiveness. When you are a victim of someone else’s violence, you learn to deal with your feelings and your emotions and I did.

Q: So how did you cope, growing up without a father?

A: It’s a terrible thing to lose your father; I know a lot of people lose their father`s in various ways. Some fathers abandon their families, and there is a father wound in many men who never grow up knowing their father, and fatherless America is a problem. Many times I missed my father and wanted to ask him some questions.We know that so many have been left behind by their own families, by their own fathers, and I can say that in another way my father having left in this way, the wound of that, the grief of that the hurt of that, God heals. God restores the heart and God changes our focus and our future with him.

Q: What role did your father have, in the faith you have today?

A: My dad was a good strong dad and spent a lot of time with my dad. At the drive-in, I just had fun being with my dad and my dad was a Christian man, worked hard and did not have a lot of formal education but I considered him and to this day consider him a very wise man. He provided an atmosphere in our home that was conducive for growing up and love and so it was very normal and very natural. He led us to church and he wasn’t dad dropping us off to church and going somewhere else, he closed down his drive-in on Sundays so that we weren’t working on Sunday we were in church, so he was a great influence on my life, one of my little league coaches as a kid, and I loved that, have great memories of my dad coaching me in little league.

Q: When you moved to Texas and began preaching, was your father proud of that?

A: My dad was very proud of what we were doing and he had visited us in Abilene, Texas where we were living just a week or two prior to his death and his injury. I remember having a great talk with him, the last real talk I had with my dad, and he expressed that. He expressed how pleased he was with my life, what we were doing in ministry. My dad was always proud of me. He never missed a ball game, he was never too tired to play catch, never see him get upset if I was hanging out at his work place, so he really was my dad but he was also a great, great friend and I was really thankful that I had the dad that God gave me.

Q: Do you miss your dad?

A: I do miss my dad today and lots of times I wish I could talk to him. I look forward to seeing him one day. Gradually when you’re in a time of grief, if someone has died, a loved one like this, you think about it every minute, every hour, and every day, and you don’t stop thinking about it, and over time that lessens, and the grief, as we’re comforted by God, goes away to some extent. But there`s always that sense of missing him. I’m sorry my dad didn’t see our children, I have 3 children, and be a part of their lives, and I’m really sad about that. But even that, we can tell the stories of our family and our heritage and our history, and our kids pick up on that.

Q: Why are you second?

A: When you’re living your life and the good and bad things happen and your emotions are up and down, and when you have tragedy in life you can be tempted to give up and you can you can even be filled with anger, even rage, but if you put Christ first, and that’s really what happened to me in that chapel that evening, when I sensed the presence of God so real in my life after my father’s death, I really said Lord I want you to be first in my life. I don’t want to live for anything or anyone but you, and I believe what happened that evening when my father died is I truly surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus in my life and allowed him his rightful place of preeminence and power in my life and as a young minister that’s an important life lesson to learn, and that it’s not about me, it’s not about my ministry, it’s not being professional.