R.A. Dickey debuted his knuckleball by breaking one of baseball’s worst pitching records, giving up an unbelievable six home runs in one game. Sent to the minors and faced with the failure of his pitching dream, Dickey decided to end his life. He duct taped a hose to his car’s exhaust pipe, connected it to the driver’s side window, and placed his hand on the ignition. It was about more than his dream failing. It was about the babysitter who molested him as a child, about the man who raped him, his need for cleansing and purpose in life. He had hoped baseball would give him meaning and a way to escape the pain of his past, but all that seemed impossible now. He couldn’t see how R.A. Dickey would one day find healing and redemption and success beyond his wildest dreams.