(Photo source: Dollar Photo Club_

(Photo source: Dollar Photo Club)

“Phubbing” is ruining relationships, according to a recent study.  It’s rampant, and it’s a behavior we’ve grown to accept as a society.  So, what is phubbing?

A friend of mine sent me an article on phubbing, and I read it only because I honestly had never heard the term before.  When I began reading it, I quickly realized that most of us are extremely familiar with the act of phubbing–we just didn’t know it had a name.

So what is it?

According to the article, “Phubbing’ is ruining American relationships,” phubbing your partner is the act of being on your cellphone instead of giving them your full attention when the two of you are together.  

As my husband, Dave, and I have discussed in many of our blogs, excessive cell phone usage is extremely detrimental to marriages.

According to the article, partners who felt “phubbed” were not only dissatisfied with their relationship, but many eventually experienced depression over time.  This is very concerning.

As a married couple, we must prioritize our spouse over our cell phone. This probably seems like a given to most of you, but Reader, believing this and doing it are two different things.  I know, because I struggle with this issue too.

I feel the pressure of responding to emails and Facebook messages.  I love perusing social media, too.  But, I can’t let these things control me.  They are TOOLS, and if I’m not careful, they can become real TIME-SUCKERS that take away from my family.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen the disappointment in my husband’s face when I wouldn’t put my phone down, and I kept on looking at my phone any way.  In those moments, I was choosing a device over my husband.  I chose to retreat from my husband–who was right in front of me–instead of engage with him.  I will never get those moments back, but, thankfully, I’ve learned from my mistakes.


So, let’s take a good look at our marriages.  Think about your communication habits.  Are you phubbing your spouse?  If so, please join me in choosing to STOP obsessing over our phone and giving our partner our first and best attention…before it’s too late.

This blog was republished with permission and originally appreaded on patheos.com.

Ashley Willis and her husband, Dave, are co-founders of StrongerMarriages.org, authors, and Patheos bloggers.