13May, 2009

The letter “B”

  • I Am Second

I read a story today that I think is worth sharing. You never know how a testimony is going to affect someone.

“It may be a weird subject, but truly the letter b saved me tonight. I came across iamsecond.com from watching Brian Welch on Tangle.com. I watched a few videos from here and was instantly hooked and drawn to God. Today is April 27th, it’s 2:34 in the morning, and tonight I almost did something that I said I was going to quit. I had the biggest opportunity to watch pornography. I had the address typed in, felt my fingers mess up, but didn’t care and still hit enter, and waited. I saw the letter “b” at the end of the website. At that moment, I stopped, remembered Brian Welch talking about his little girl, and about God’s love. I didn’t understand God’s love until tonight, and I actually only got a little bit of it. I knew that Brian had a meth problem, and he said he felt God’s love. So instead of retyping the website, I sat there and fought the devil, outright fought the devil going back and forth saying “I can stop tonight” – “One last night, quit fresh tomorrow” – “God, help me with this now, I need you” – “You’ll be fine, there’s no harm in a quick last look, and then you can be done” – “God, help me, send me your love” – “Just look again, there won’t be a problem” – And this went on and on, and I said “God, love me, show me you can do this” And there it was. Honestly, it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I had to let go, and wait. I’m so used to being in control, that way I know I can rely on myself and nothing can go wrong. I didn’t realize that that was my problem. I’m sitting here dwelling on my pornography addiction, and now I understand it’s because of control. I’ve been told this time and time again, and now I get it. I want to thank whoever set up this site, they just made my life so much better. Please, all staff and participants, stay in ministry! You helped me tonight, and God led me to you so that you could!

A truly found person”

I can’t add much to that. Praise the Lord.

Shay